Peringatan : post ini panjang banget dan bakal membosankan untuk kalian. Kalau males baca, skip aja post ini ya.
I wanna write things down because I’ve always loved the activity… I took holidays from the 31st December to 2nd January so I had fewer distractions for doing one of my hobbies : writing a diary~
My strategy for this holiday is basically doing the contrary of my working days :
1. sleeping above 2 AM
2. waking up above 12 PM
3. binge streaming videos and scrolling over instagram’s feed
4. eating and snacking when I see fit
5. avoiding my work related stuff (not really going well here hahaha)
It is a strategy because when I spent a year doing those several things, I became really lit in the workplace.
Point number 5 is a total fail because work is life and I find contenment there, it is basically pointless to do the number 5.
Actually I agree with Gothamista’s statement of “2016 is over, thank God.” I have always wanted to be older so going forward to the next days, not stuck in the past, I love that.
I can see a tremendous difference from Me in 2016 and Me before that. I became a more vocal person, for some people, it isn’t a good change hahaha because being vocal means putting the words out there, whether it’s heart warming or heart breaking, you would hear them from me.
I have more sense of “this is enough for me” than “i want more out of life.” I don’t really have many wishlists like the younger me had. I look around and simplify my life by concluding that I have everything I need.
I have some visible scratches on my glasses and I still wear them because I only need them for driving and watching movies.
My clothes has faded and a few has gone but I don’t care because I have tons of comfortable clothes.
After losing my smartphone, I didn’t buy a new one, dude, I borrowed my friend’s for months until my uncle gave his secondhand smartphone.
I wear the same bags for years and years and years. I mean, in 2016, I rarely bought new things. Other than food, beverage, a few clothes, 1 necklace, 1 ring and pairs of heels for the entire year. I bought the clothes because I lost 7 kilograms so my clothes became too big.
I had personal preference though for skincare items, I justified my new skincare products by saying I wanted to review them (which I did), to have broader knowledge of them (yes, it’s true) and taking care of myself better. I see many positive outcomes from shopping these items, so why not?
2016 is when I cut a lot of my unproductive expenses and I am satisfied by it. I admit my friends has been making more millions than me, I was not bothered by it because I saw most of them couldn’t manage their money really well. I’m sorry for my friends who read this, I’m trying to be honest on my writings. Practically, it’s the same, they made more and spent more while I made less and spend a little too.
I haven’t been financially independent on 2016, I wanna get that straight of course. (shoutout to my friends who are still studying on their master’s degrees or others hahaha)
It’s a process, yes, I would say a slow one but that’s okay, it’s because I haven’t been 100% workaholic, I haven’t sacrificed ‘everything’ on my work, I admit I have been playing safe.
I was clueless about everything. I had no plan about what job I want to get. What I know is that my Dad doesn’t want me applying for a job. Why? His reason is the UMR in Indonesia is around 2.5 to 3 millions per month. It’s too low for his standards. If I need to count a bit, the facts are :
renting a room monthly IDR 1.000.000
daily meal for a month IDR 900.000
gas or transportation fees a month,kalau naik motor IDR 100.000
let’s see that as a big picture, your living cost = 2/3 of your monthly salary
where is the extra money for investment or personal savings? Wait, how about luxury items, shopping, leisure, health care, etc?
I was clueless so let’s say, I became open to his way of thinking… I considered his point of view, right… I had several ideas in mind but he said the calculation just didn’t make any sense. Alright, truthfully the rejection put me more and more in despair (I’m talking about a year ago).
He had two ideas, one of them was about the culinary business and I wasn’t buying it since, well hello, culinary needs some special skills which I ain’t got none. I just couldn’t picture myself preparing the dishes first thing in the morning and serving customers until afternoon, alone (I’m talking that I got no siblings here).
The other idea was opening a retail shop. I was completely clueless too. Man, I just got so little working experience that you can consider me a spoiled brat. That’s okay, that’s true. Hahahaha… Man, that’s lame. I listened to my boyfriend and him at this point… They both have had more working experience starting from the young age… I considered them as qualified people to make judgements about decent jobs. Yea, whatever, sorry it wasn’t cool enough, I didn’t decide this 100% by my own thoughts.
The retail shop idea was okay, it was more suitable for me than the culinary one so I had the courage to try it since …
Sebagai orang P, it’s so relieving to hear : “kamu gak perlu nerusin ini kalau kamu gak suka, ya, kalau memang ngga cocok, kamu bisa ganti bisnis lain.” I admit it doesn’t sound cool but just saying… It was a relief for me.
I started to be more aware of people around me, they had worse situations and backgrounds but they still worked their asses off. You think “of course they must do that in order to go on living?”
No, people. Depression and suicide are REAL, people can give up.
However, from what I was witnessing was the spirit of striving, to earn what they deserve and keep on fighting for their living.
I was a newbie, I didn’t recall selling a thing on my life. I didn’t know how many stuff I would be able to sell. I didn’t know would I be able to love cosmetics and skincare like I used to. I didn’t know would I stand this job, for the sake of whom? for the sake of what? It was a flat empty ground for a start. It was ready to be built into something, filled with things but be built into what? filled with what? I didn’t have a clue.
Oke kayaknya excessive banget ngomongin The Start itu…
Moving on to… Taaddaaa…. My new job is here at what used to be my dad’s parking lot. My workplace is located on my dad’s ex parking lot. Maybe it isn’t common to some people, ya, to have your desk on … Yes, arghh…stop repeating yourself… sorry. I heard some entrepreneurs have had their working spaces at their parents’ too (berusaha menghibur diri sendiri), though I wasn’t an entrepreneur but that’s okay…
At the beginning, I could sit and wait for days without customers, it’s fucking dry. I was questioning how hard it was for my dad because he was repeatedly saying to everyone that : “I hate to sit and waiting at the store, it is the worst job ever, I can’t stand it, it is so boring, I rather walk to mountains, villages, farms, anywhere to work in many places, especially outdoors.” Me? Man, I am such a boring person and that’s why the condition got to my nerves just a little bit.
The first weeks, the structure of the store’s counters were making things very easy for thiefs to rob my stuff from the desk. I lost a smartphone. So, we changed the structure so that no guest can enter from the store’s entrance. However, an incredibly suspicious middle aged man snuck into my dad’s car workshop to get into the store, the fuck? Yes, it happened. Luckily, my friend and all of dad’s staffs were there to witness everything, he ran off with his motorcycles at the end. Wtf.
Another weeks passed, we started putting bigger and more visible store signs, sticking the store opening hours on the walls because the customers were asking the same old question : “when does this store open? It is always closed when I pass by.”
Now, I’m always giving the same answer : Look at those walls, those doors, capture it with your phone or contact me anytime because my contact info and opening hours are everywhere, dear customers. Thankfully, they don’t have any questions about it because I am giving the solution.
That is one example of this significant change in my personality. I would say I became more defensive, it could be perceived negatively because people tend to do that when they are caught making mistakes. When I dislike nonsense or baseless judgements from people, I showed them, told them my own reasonings and how I could reach my final decisions… I refused to stay quiet and accept their useless insults upon me. I do not have to fulfill their standards just because they say so, okay. I dislike judging other people either because what for? I don’t know you, why would I poke into your life? That’s the only thing that stupid people do. They see someone and think they know everything about them. C’mon, that’s stupid.
I take my mom’s passive personality as my lesson, I won’t let myself be like that. I will try to not attack people but it’s damn sure I won’t let myself be degraded by some inexperienced airheads.
So… Yea, 2016 is… That… Many things changed there, I feel like, I’m learning new stuff obviously, from the start, I was so clueless and by the end of the year, I learnt :
1) strict 10 am to 8 pm working hours
2) deadlines from the stores
3) priorities to restock the best-seller products
4) trying to be more creative for the catalogue photos, notifications, promos, hahahaha, it was just ridiculous but I enjoy this
5) facing criticisms and problems, filter them, giving solutions for the constructive feedbacks
6) making realistic goals and accomplishing them
7) realizing my job isn’t actually a job, it becomes my hobby, my life, I am practically not working
8) have an attitude like, take it-or-leave-it kind of attitude
9) experimenting on new looks on my happier days, you know, when all colors suddenly become your friends?
10) always keep in mind, if you’re passionate about it, do it, you’ll be surprised of the community which love it the same way you do -> talking about my Korean beauty obsession here
11) cut the empty promises, I rather do the actions first and then say “I have always wanted to do these for you yet I’m scared I would break my promises, so, do you like this?”
When I say something, I mean it, I do it myself.
I was used to be an automated Pemberi Harapan Palsu but I’ve changed. Big Time.
-> Lah lapo? Soalnya tahun 2016 itu I am disgusted by PHP-ers, aku ngga inget siapa aja, kejadian apa lalala… Sampai di poin aku sadar ‘astaga, iya ya, aku kan juga PHP.’ Setelah realizing that, I am disgusted by empty promises. Jadi, kalau aku udah ngomong sesuatu tanpa mikir dan males juga menjalankannya tapi aku bakal tetep memenuhi perkataanku itu. I wanna change for myself. Aku gak mau disgusted sama diriku sendiri.
Selain itu, aku ngga nganggep penting janji-janji yang orang kasih ke aku. Soalnya aku tahu cuma sedikit orang lah yang bisa menepati omongannya sendiri. Mostly people just talk a bunch of bullshit.
12) I ain’t daydreaming much
Menurutku ya, karena aku lebih suka realita hidupku sekarang daripada fantasi atau other things…
13) cuma kepo if the person lets me too
14) to not get worked up or stressed out over small things, small problems, life’s too damn meaningful to be wasted over stuff like that. Balik ke nomor 5.
15) if I dislike something, I change it, ain’t gonna wait for somebody to take over my life anymore
Hmm I’m running out of list hahaha…
Oya sampe lupa bikin wishes
I have these in my current relationship and I want these to last. Specifically…..
I am being respected and appreciated.
I am being listened to and bisa communicating lancar banget like the flowing river.
He just knows the better words, the better sentences, let’s say… He knows how to communicate effectively.
I am being shared with new ideas, thoughts, a part of someone’s life.
I am being thought of, I can feel it and sense it.
I am not being asked to change but I still change and so does him, we create another wave in this dynamic relationship.
I just instantly smile when he comes on my mind.
I receive every inch of support that I need.
I love to be told what I’m lack off from someone who really cares.
I love to learn and be better.
I tell him what I dislike and what are my insecurities, he considers them through his actions.
Actually, sometimes, his mind is like a very, very old man, he has this long term thoughts about… hahaha basically everything. But seeing his laughter? Omg, he’s a child. How nerdy he can be? Don’t ask me. How sociable he can be? Don’t ask me.
Thank goodness, 2016 is overrrr…
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