I was a man with no plan
My friends and you know for certain how I lived my life impulsively without directions.
When we started getting serious, I wanted to be independent so that you could depend on me one day. Frankly, I didn’t how to be THAT person, let along helping the one I loved… It seemed like a long way track to be my Ideal Self. Do you remember on of my favorite Beyonce’s songs? FLAWLESS? There are these words “My Rock” which I associated with you. I wanted to be as good as you, to be worthy standing beside of you.
I tried to start considering what I really wanted and fought for them. I struggled in decision making hahaha, something I rarely did for LONG-TERM events. I took initiatives and put effort in accepting the unpleasant consequences. I love picturing our future, I saw our hard work would paid off and we would enjoy new adventures as we do in the process. I saw us living in the moment and really walking towards our goals.
Yes, I am not a considerate or warm loving person… But you have a bias, you ARE my factor in my own way. I didn’t change because you asked me to, no, I changed because I wanted to since I wanted to feel I deserved you. Yes, I messed up a lot, I had a very hard time saying sorry when it was my fault. You knew that quickly that I was a bully, I would never say ‘sorry’ first… But no, I didn’t say sorry in fights to shut you down now. It’s because I know I make mistakes and I’m sorry for those actions.
Lately, you said I have grown better and leaving you alone, broken and getting worse. I told you it was because of me and I still liked you no matter what. We stay, I’m so glad and my life is complete.
I want to keep us like this while we keep developing ourselves together.
alurnya gak jelas tapi this is truly how I feel about us