Disclaimer : The topic is about my personal thoughts, it will be long, I think you are gonna be bored reading this so I recommend you to read my other posts🙂
What is Work?
it is my overall performance, hmm… I try to put this into words…
I, only see the results. Are they GOOD or BAD? There is nothing in between those categories. I throw away the value of effort and process.
Why? I wonder too.
My immune system was shot (i hope this is the right interpretation ‘shot’) and it disturbed my work performance. Physically, my right neck was very stiff and hurting, I had a headache, fever also been losing my appetite. I gave up trying to ignore my health when I messed up my performance. The turning point was when I could barely move without grunting painfully and really gave the wrong change (amount of money) to my customer.
As my previous and long posts about the disease, now I heighten my awareness about my health. Appetite, resting and working hours, I evaluated them though it seemed impulsive but I believe these changes are necessary.
Problem&Solution 1 : Appetite
As my previous post about this, I have had my moments in being a girl who had low appetite also high appetite. My solution for myself is only try to remember then surround myself with my favorites. Done.
Problem&Solution 2 : Resting
Before I got sick, I avoided resting… Now, I triiieeeddd to relax and do … Well, work-related but LIGHT stuff like posting contents of the store, products, promos etc.
Problem&Solution 3 : Working hours
Before I got sick, I spent most of the noon and least of the afternoon at work [75% noon and 25% afternoon]. Now, I have confirmed the weather, heat, pollution, security and low traffic of customers coming in with my partner and Dad. Yes, it was harder to stay open at noon rather than at afternoon. I changed my break time 4-7 PM into 1-4 PM. I have never been friendly or had high tolerance of heat so I sensed that I would get sick faster if I kept my old schedule.
When I got sick, my business partner could replace me when she was not working on part-time jobs. While she was working in a different place? My Dad took over, replacing us in opening the store, don’t get me wrong, I, truly appreciate his intention however…. He doesn’t have the essential product knowledge, so… Yea. The store isn’t going properly if I am feeling unwell.
I believe this is an approriate reason to have that schedule change. Thanks to them in supporting me, it is amazing and one of the greatest gifts.
Problem 4 : Customers become datas
Their preferences, requests and feedbacks are really important for me in determining whether I am a competent store owner or NOT. Let’s say, I have certain and high expectation of myself, I demand myself to do good and better. I am obsessed of improvement and excellent execution of my well-planned to do lists. I can’t be satisfied with progress and bugged with the situation when I do not have what they want in store.
Problem 5 : Force
Basically, I work with many channels and new people, am not familiar with their personalities and how to handle them. I want to have control and power over every single detail of my plans. Reality never goes hand in hand with well-thought plans.
Solution 4&5 : Admit
It is exhausting and useless. There. I said it. It. Is. Useless.
Solution 4&5 : Evaluate What I CAN and CAN’T Do
I can work for what I want but I NEED to expect nothing. It is good to have motivation in moving forward but I NEED to get rid of my FORCEful hunger of power and control of environments.
I think I need to start seeing working as eating…
Eating and drinking are pleasurable activities.
No worries and just an ecstatic anticipation and loving the moment of every bite and sip.
I need to learn laughing at my imperfection.
Solution 1-5 : Thankful
I said to him, “after being in a relationship with you, you became a representative of 100 people”. Meaning, I was content and relieved enough talking about my problems to him. I was used to HAVE TO tell many people (and strangers???) about my personal issues (extroverts, I know, right…) in order to feel better.
He gives me many insights, refreshing ideas like fresh air.
He becomes my motivation to stop comparing my problems with other people’s problems. Although he said he disliked how this turned out, how my anxiety bothered me like this… Then, I responsed, “Well, I think this is a good thing, my anxiety keeps me thinking continuously to do something… I’m not just dwelling on my negativity and do nothing.” He said I was right but he still disliked my anxious moment. Alright, make sense..