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Manga 18+

I kept thinking about him that night

I couldn’t remember my feelings for him

Although my current partner reminded me over and over again of events that happened between my ex and I

I can’t remember how it feels

I know I am a different person, Lia who dated him back then doesn’t exist now

I traveled, I am in a different place now with a different lover

My current partner is everything I want in life

I don’t want to screw things up

I get distracted but I, always have the desire to hold myself together and be better

I get back up and don’t wanna let things fall apart or grow apart like my failures with him

I can be a selfish bitch, such a lame girlfriend, cold and very distant towards my loved one

I can zone out but in the end I put back my smile for my current partner because,


Because life is perfect now.

Life with him must have been a failure, that’s why we broke up.

I don’t even have anything left from it

Not even a stain

I guess, I really did put on a show

I really like him as my fan

That’s why I gave him nothing and only received everything from him

Until his love runs out

Yes, it empties out from the container lol

I feel sorry for him since the beginning

I try to put on a show back and forth, I guess I must have liked him as my fan

That’s why

Life with him is a failure

I feel nothing while witnessing his happiness

I thought I would suffer

Oh right, rather I was in agony when I savor his attention

I felt guilty because I became angry so fast

I wanted him to look weak and say sorry first

It was like a painful circle

A very hot summer

I hate the summer

Until his love runs out

I guess this is my first writing since the breakup or what

I was so busy looking for a new relationship, so that, I wouldn’t be lonely

No matter how ugly our relationship became

I was so busy looking for someone who can love me

Now my life is perfect

A lesson learnt from failure of the past

I don’t wanna screw up

My current partner is wrong when it said it can be replaced by anybody

It said I would forget this relationship too when I found a new one

No, it’s not accurate

It can’t be…

I’m different now.
With my ex, I had this fear :

The question, “do you love me?”
Why I wonder

Why I feel the emptiest when I need to answer that

I.. Love.. You..

Why does it feel so easy when I say I love you as a friend?

It’s like, no shit, yes, of course I love you as a friend, we are meant to be together that way

Life is easy like that
I TOLD YOU I LIKE YOU AS MY FRIEND!!! WHY YOU DIDN’T LISTEN??? WE COULD HAVE BEEN JUST FRIENDS AND LEAD PERFECT LIVES NOW AS FRIENDSSS!!!!!!!!!! You screw this over for me. Yea, that.. That’s… Lia in the past who loves to blame others, have tons of emotional outburst like that.
Life is perfect now because I’m a different person now…

I admit I like him as my fan

That’s why I let myself being childish as fuck

Made everyone mad

Made us mad

It’s like a scrutinizing circle

Now you got a new fan malah and an idol at the same time

Now i got someone who i want it to be
Life is perfect 


About Lia Agustine

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